everything is still lucid to me. it was the first of december, the end of our happy november days, when my world turned upside down.
the chill of that certain coffee shop we consider our favorite did not help to ease my pain. nothing seemed right during that time. the sunny baristas who, after our daily visits there, already know our names. your grande cappuccino you always request extra hot and the lifeless and untouched doughnut. and even the cold distance between us that fateful morning you put a period in forever.
i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, for every soul inside the cafe to hear, how much i am more than willing to sacrifice and do anything just for him to tell me that he was only kidding, that everything he said was only a part of a big joke.
we left the cafe since it's already time for my work. following one of our rituals, he walked me to the building where i work as an IT analyst. i could still remember how i declined skyrocket offers in makati due to my extreme wanting to be nearer to him. geographically, at least.
i rarely use the word surreal but it was the best word to describe the scenes. following our rituals, i expected that he'd hold my hands before we reached the building. he didn't. instead, he just sported a vague smile and waved goodbye. it was so sad that i stand there, silent and static, watching him walk away, being eaten by an ocean of tired and busy people.
thinking that it was best to clear my mind first, i informed my boss that i was suffering from extreme cold. lying is not my thing. my voice that seemed to break on the phone sounded natural.
all alone, at 8.30 in the morning, i went to this bar that caters to the nocturnal populace of ortigas for a drink. after countless bottles, i fished my phone and tried to drag a few names only to found myself talking to him, half-crying, begging for a ride home.
when i woke up, he was no longer there. thinking that crying still remains human, i grabbed my pillow and tried not to scream how much i love him.
4 years ago
funny how a pillow can become one's bestfriend.
*hugs*
@the geek - true. *hugs*
You're a great writer. I can vividly see the place and feel the emotion. Makiki-hug na rin ako. *Hugs*
@Grace - thanks for the compliment. and the hug.
ayoko ng drama. yay! salamat sa pagdaan sa basurahan ko. :D
sadness spreads its own desease quickly. and you got me there. funny how people are dragged with the words that flow from your loneliness.
lament as long as you want, that's part of your humanity. but don't let time pass. life isn't a frog's life cycle that.. that... that.. argh. that... lifecycle that.. that. ponyeta, smile na kase!
thanks for the visit 'tol! *wink*